Weblog
Friday, 27 November 2009
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Currently
Thinking of You
By Katy Perry
see relatedIt's Beginning To Make Sense
I would be lying if I told you that I was not a Twilight Fan. Now, mind you, I am NOT obsessed... I have read the books and can identify with them. They are intriguing. I had not even gone so far as to choose teams... *rolls eyes* until I went to see New Moon with my little sister.
I am officially Team Jacob.
Here is why:
I am now Team Jacob because I know what it is like to
be in love with someone (in love, not just love) and for them to:
A: know how you feel about them
B: love you back but not in that way
and C: love someone else more than you
Every single day it's the same. He comes up to me, kisses me on the forehead, which makes me blush. He tells me I look beautiful. His eyes try to tell me more, but his words hide it. He hugs me tight, then turns around. He grabs her hand, kisses her lips, and they leave arm in arm. He knows how much I feel for him. Before her, we were close to being something like that. We held hands and laughed together under the stars. I hate looking at the stars now. Because now, when I see them, I know I'm looking at the same stars he is looking at, but this time, he is not with me. I've tried to move on but it never works. And he makes it no better by keeping me chained down.
It's cruel, the way he flirts and smiles and makes me feel wonderful and gushy inside when I am around him! He knows how I feel! And he knows that I know he feels the same way too, but he loves her more than me. He keeps me strung along and plays with my heart like a little boy. He spirals my emotions so that I love the glances he gives me across the room but I hate him for them as well!
Please, don't stop. I couldn't take it. I'm afraid that this is all I will ever have of you. I wish I had the guts to just cut it off! Just walk away and forget about all that you and I had. But, I know that if I do that, you will never come after me.And that, my dear, is what hurts the most.
Even though I know that Edward gets Bella in the end, I root for Jacob, because he mended her when she was broken. He loves her for every flaw. He LOVES her! And he deserves to get the chance to love her.Screw Edward Cullen.
~Chelsey
Monday, 02 November 2009
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Currently
Nolita
By Keren Ann
La Forme Et Le Fond
see relatedWhile I've Been Away
Dear Kodi,
I am sorry. I miss what could have been. I wish that fate would have had us in its path, but for our own sake, it did not. Sometimes, life takes a much different road that you would have chosen yourself, but that is what makes it worthwhile. Is it though? Why, when I had gained nothing, do I feel as though I have lost so much. Emotions so strong that my heart physically aches because of what did not happen. Why can't I fill the hole you've left? I search and search, but still... nothing. I leave behind me a trail of broken pieces. Eventually, there will be nothing left to me. I cannot go on with this pain any longer. Why did you leave? And why did you leaving affect me so? We were nothing. Friends at the most... But is that it? You left behind you a door wide open. It will not close until you come back and do so. Please, either close the door, or walk through again.
After three years, I am still waiting,
<3 Chelsey
Monday, 02 February 2009
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:'-(
What
Do
You
Do
When
The
One
Who
Dried
Your
Tears
Was
The
One
Who
Made
You
Cry
?
Much too young, both of us.
What are you doing?
"Don't worry, it will feel good."
My mommy said-
"You won't tell your mommy!"
I'm scared.
----
No, please stop!
He didn't listen.
Please! Ow, STOP!
Hormones cloud his vision.
You're HURTING me!
Rip!
Tear!
Cry!
Lost!
Gone.
"If you tell your mommy, she will hate you."
My gift, taken from me at only four years old.
Kept silent for 14 years.
Now it's too late.
Happy Birthday Bobby.
Thursday, 29 January 2009
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Currently
Then Comes the Sun
Dancing
see relatedAm I Wrong To Dream?
I feel so diffident in your preasence,
Your confident playfulness drips all over me
You play with me like a little boy would play
You spiral my emotions
I sit here speechless
First, you smell my hair
I look into your dreamy eyes
Your innocence concealed by others
But blaring loud in my ears
Your weariness shows in your dark puppy eyes
Your life, your experience, your hurt
Carefully put away
I reach out to you to embrace you
To let you know that I care
More than anyone else ever could
I brush your hand
We fit perfectly as we embrace
Like two perfectly crafted puzzle pieces
If only I could kiss you without hesitation
Without any thoughts of entangled relationships
Our hearts both contain so much complexity
Our pasts are sickly warped
But the noise of the silent hours
Molds our problems into one shared friendship
It seems that to you,
It is all so superficial
It saddens me to know that I need you
From the deepest hole in my heart
You are beautiful, innocent, my dear
We long to play, frolic, and never grow up
Yet we are drawn toward the end of the sidewalk
The end of the fairytale
I long to be held
But do you really feel more?
Do you hold that capacity to feel
As deeply as I do?
No, it draws for much too much complexities
I crave your presence
So your pillow lips would linger on mine
You make me feel so giggly and bubbly inside
Perhaps I don't have to grow up
Perhaps this hope that you have given me
Can last forever
Perhaps not
I feel so happy, so passionate, so optimistic
How could you do that to me?
What an incredible aura you give off
But perhaps I interpret your flirtatious gestures
As more than what they really are
But you keep me to yourself
There is that chance that you wish for
Something in the shallow waters
But whatever my contortions
Of your feelings may be
You've allowed me to dream of love in a new way
But the fear of hurt lies
Waiting patiently in the background
I know your are but aren't strong
Confusion lurks in your soft eyes
Despite the difficulties that present themselves
I am truly happy
Trully filled with wholeness
Let's snuggle
Smile with me, tickle me,
And make me giggle.
-Chelsey
Monday, 26 January 2009
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To: My Future Husband... Whoever He May Be...
Dear Boy,
I thank God every day that we have finally met. Now that we are together, I hope you will love me for me, and not hope for someone who is much thinner or prettier than I. I hope you will not compare me to girls who have brighter smiles. I pray that you will make me laugh, take care of me when I am sick, and be a trustworthy man of integrity and honour. I hope you will remember that I prefer daisies to roses, and that my favorite color changes with my mood. Please know that my eyes are not blue, they are green with sapphire speckles and foamy blue flecks. Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you first, but please do not be too afraid to kiss me. I will not slap you or push you away. I am sure you kisses will be perfect. When we go on dates, please do not stress about where to take me; what is important is that I am with you. Please do not think that I am asking to much of you. I am very nervous and scared, but I will try my very best to be kind and love you for all that you are, without expecting too much from you. Thank you for being who you are.
Forever Yours,
<3 Girl





